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Tag Archives: Introspection

Sometimes music has a weird effect on me it makes me think of things connected or completely different or it makes a weird link to something I’ve been battling and fighting at the moment. Some of it’s almost poetry for how it flows and feels, or philisophical and sometimes it’s just hurt and anger.

Enigmatic Soul – Two Steps from Hell – Epic/Orchestral

Don’t we all have enigmatic souls? Aren’t we all rarities in our own right? Despite the roar and press of the sea of humanity do we not all have our own story to tell? Our own epic to write? Indeed it is because we are all individuals that only the greatest of us are remembered for in a sea of stories a legend must by it’s nature impact stories of many, must span the width and breadth of the human experience and inspire in others great acts of courage, sacrifice and love but even then these tales are no less or more then that of the story that caused them and to smaller audiences they too will be told. So strive forth in your day to make your mark, to write your place in history, for today as on all days the legends of tomorrow are writing their opening paragraphs

Like Toy Soldiers – Eminem – Rap/ Hip Hop

This one seems weird, I’m not a huge rap listener, in fact the appropriate term form my appreciation of rap and hip hop could be described as “minimal” and even then that’s a stretch. I do listen to some Eminem and I misclicked this link from another video. I really enjoyed the song and it really got me thinking on a completely unrelated track mostly from the chorus

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

That really gets me thinking about my time in the Corps and my brothers who are still in, over there now or going over there, for what amounts to games and bullshit by our politicians in power, it doesn’t matter who’s in power republican or democrat they all have their games that they’re playing scrambling for money, power whatever it is it’s getting men and women killed whether the games are the battle itself or tying my brothers hands so they can barely fight the battle in a manner that it can be won.

We have no choice, no recourse, we signed up because we love what we have, to provide a better life for those we defend, and those who depend on us and in the end the politicians just move us around like toy soldiers in a game of Risk. We go willingly because that’s what we signed up to do, don’t ask any questions because we just have to support and back each other up no matter what but now that I’m out I can ask questions, I can ask why and I can ask what we’re really getting in trade for all the men I’ve had to bury, no matter what every funeral I was on the detail for for the Marine Corps or to funerals I attend now as a member of the Marine Corps League part of it kills me inside.

Year or two back in Yuma, we had a funeral on base in the chapel for a young Staff Sergeant. This guy was special in my mind because he was young, in his midthirties and he was out, he’d just finished his time in the Corps after a couple tours in the sand box and a long career, wanted to be with his young family more. As I came to attention at the back of the Chapel and started playing taps his little 5 maybe 6 year old daughter was leaning out from her mother’s lap up at the front and stared at me the whole time with these big blue eyes. The wars didn’t kill this Marine, cancer did, we can be struck down by almost anything at any moment and part of me then wondered, for this man who’s life was so short was the sacrifice of some of those final years and moments something he willingly gave to all of us, truly worth the value we’re getting? Is the young Lance Corporal all of 19 when he got killed in the ‘Stan, is that life worth the benefit? What is the benefit? I used to have a real argument, but I don’t know I’m burnt out and sick of watching weeping mothers and widows, watching family shake from the rifle salute like those rounds are hitting them right in the heart, having to maintain my own composure and bearing as another flag is folded.

Amaranth – Nightwish – Metal/Symphonic Metal

You can draw all sorts of messages from this song, the flower Amaranth itself has long been a symbol of eternal life but I feel Nightwish has used it for a sense of loss and memory in life and in proper response to a song focusing on a symbol of immortal life it makes me think about how temporary life is and how people especially can move through your life and the pain that can cause, especially if you’re the type of person that draws inward instead of reaching out when your hurt.

With change though comes positive and negative, in my own situation I lost something very dear to me, but I gained many new chances and opportunities to live, love and share with new people who enter and share my life with me. It’s come down that the gain in this these new chances far out weighs the pain of the loss from my past and has truly and quickly healed that wound faster then I thought it ever would.